Hello, all.
The following contains, for the most part, nothing of any real significance. Just so y'all know, the purpose of this blog is not to post amusing nothings such as this post. Generally (not always), I will try to write articles of substance. However, even The Preacher (at least, the fella we believe to have been The Preacher) extols the value of a good laugh . . . so fear not that my humble journal will be entirely devoid of humor. Those of you who know me fairly well can attest to this, I am certain.
There are dozens of these sets of "ROEs" out there - this is my personal collection. Hope you fellows enjoy them.
Murphy’s Rules of Combat
(a.k.a. Combat For Dummies)
1. “If the enemy is in range, so are you.” --Infantry Journal
2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
3. Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire (see 11., below).
4. The easy way is always mined.
5. “Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo” --Infantry Journal
6. Professionals are predictable - it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
7. The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions:
a. When you're ready for them.
b. When you're not ready for them.
Or
a. when they're ready
b. when you're not.
8. Teamwork is essential - it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
9. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed toward from you.
10. If your attack appears to be going really well for once, it’s an ambush.
11. "Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." --Infantry Journal
12. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
13. “When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.” --U.S. Marine Corps
14. If it's stupid but works, it ain’t stupid.
15. When in doubt, empty the magazine.
16. Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than yourself.
17. Anything you do can get you shot. Including, doing nothing.
18. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you can't get out.
19. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
20. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, dumb enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
21. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and NEVER, EVER volunteer to do anything.
22. The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
23. “Five second fuses [are guaranteed to] last three seconds.” --Infantry Journal
24. You are not Superman (Marines and fighter pilots take note).
25. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
26. If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.
27. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
28. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
29. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
30. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.
31. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.
32. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
33. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping
34. Friendly fire - ain’t.
35. Recoilless rifles - aren't.
36. Suppressive fires - won't.
37. Protective fire - don't.
38. Perfect plans - aren't.
39. The important things are always simple.
40. The simple things are always hard.
41. If you're short of everything except the enemy, you're in combat.
42. No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.
43. No inspection-ready unit has ever passed combat.
44. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
45. When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose ... they are both right.
46. All weather close support doesn't work in bad weather.
47. The bursting radius of a grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
48. The only terrain that is truly controlled is the terrain upon which you are standing.
49. The law of the bayonet says the man with the bullet wins.
50. The best tank killer is another tank. Therefore tanks are always fighting each other ...& have no time to help the infantry.
51. Precision bombing is normally accurate to within +/- one mile (...or so).
52. “Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground.” --USAF Ammo Troop
53. The side with the fanciest uniforms loses.
54. Armored vehicles are bullet magnets; a moving foxhole that attracts attention.
55. No plan survives the first few seconds of combat.
56. Expending material in combat is easier than filling out Graves Registration forms -- Ammo is cheap; your life isn't.
57. Just because you can't see the enemy; don't for a minute believe they can't see you.
58. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
59. "Aim towards the enemy." --Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher
60. "A slipping gear could let your M-203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." --Army's magazine of prevention maintenance
61. "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." --U.S. Air Force manual
62. "Tracers work both ways." --U.S. Army Ordnance
63. "Any ship can be a minesweeper....once." --Anon
64. "Never tell the platoon sergeant you have nothing to do." --Unknown Marine Recruit
65. "If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." --USAF Ammo Troop
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4 comments:
Loved the rules of combat. I especially liked the one about being unpopular with what is left of your squad when you accidentally launch a grenade out of your M-203! Haha!
However, I believe that number 9 should read:
"If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you."
instead of "... pointed away from you."
All the same, they were great.
I wondered about that, myself. I wonder how many hands this had gone through before it got to me? It will be corrected.
Those are great. All are funny, but they also have truth to them. I guess that's what makes them funny.
Til later, Schack
Loved the one about not sure what to do so just empty your magazine! Nice. When the going gets tough the tough go fully automatic!
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